Top Ten Songs Lawn Care Professionals love to whistle while at work.


Got Questions?
Can an orphan eat in a Family Restaurant? Dateline Miami... Police are on the lookout for someone who abandoned nine kittens on the side of the road. Police say when found, they will be charged with Littering. If an electricians kid gets in trouble, will they ground him? A new study finds pessimistic men die early... Damin it, I knew it! San Francisco city council has outlawed public defecation. Lawmakers say it's their number one and number two priority. Some dogs can smell if you have cancer. The good news if the dog says you have a year to live, it's really seven.
More Questions?
Do poor white trash go to the movies just for the trailers? If you hit a person with an electric car, can you be charged with battery? Ft. Lauderdale recorded its hottest day at 106 degrees, which beat the previous record of 105 in 1911. Today scientists are blaming Global Warming. In 1911 they blamed Summer! A Hollywood woman reported her septic tank was hit by lightning causing it to explode, and in an act of poetic justice it also hit the ceiling fan. Thanks Bob Zany
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
A friend of mine broke his bathroom mirror. "Dang it" he shouted... Seven years of bad luck. Heck, I told him, "I know an attorney who can get you off in 3 years with 3 months of community service".
Ba Dump Chissss
I lost my Thesaurus yesterday... I can't find the words to tell you how upset I am. My wife and I are having a hard time deciding whether to burry or cremate my mother-in-law. We couldn't make up our minds, so we decided to let her live. I really don't like sex in the shower. It's slippery, dangerous and one of the worst things about prison. When they buried the man who invented Tetris, four rows of the cemetery disappeared. Gary
What's the Difference?
What's the difference between a hippopotamus and a zippo lighter? Well let's see... A hippo weights on average 2,800 pounds. A zippo is just a little lighter. How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? It depends on whether the animal see's you later, on in a while.
Eating a Candy Bar
As I sat enjoying my Snickers Xtra Large candy bar, an elderly gentleman approached me with a warning. He said "if you eat a lot of chocolate, it will shorten your lifespan." So I said "my Grandfather lived to be 106." Did he eat a lot of chocolate? the old guy asked. I replied... "Nope... he just learned how to mind his own business!"

After all of that, I must admit I was once addicted to the Hokey Pokey... But I turned myself around. That's what it's all about.
No Panic?
Trump, Bush and Biden were in Mexico working on immigration. The Mexican President declared all of them Traitors, and sentenced them to death by firing squad. Up against the wall Trump had to think quick... Just before the gunners fired Trump yells out, "Earthquake!!!" During the panic Trump escaped. Bush was next. Just before the gunners fired Bush yelled, "Tornado!!!" During the panic Bush escapes too. As Biden stood there. he thought to himself, "I see a pattern here..." and just before the gunners aim, Biden yells "FIRE!!!"
Luge Lounge
Luge is the French word for "sledge," is a small one or two person sled where the rider will sled face up and feet first. Lugers can reach speeds of 90 mph, and it is a very popular Olympic sport. Luge racing has been around more than 130 years, and can be considered one of the most precisely timed sports in the world. Street luge is an extreme gravity-powered activity that involves riding a street luge board down a paved road or course.
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Production Shots In No Particular Order.